BARF!! I'm sorry for even putting this up, you guys.
If there’s anything I can’t stand more than mosquitoes, it’s those big, fat, filthy, revolting house flies. When they land on me with their nasty, hairy legs that have touched — ohh, Lord… I don’t even want to THINK about what they’ve touched — and look at me with their giant, dumb eyes, it seriously makes me ANGRY. You swat them away, and they keep coming and coming and flying around your face and buzzing past your ears and landing in your food and — UGH! It’s enough to make you SCREAM!!
Anyway.
Enough hate. It’s time to do something about these evil little irritants.
This Hack will help to diminish the population of this lower-than-lowlife bug in and around your home. And you probably have everything you need to construct your trap of triumph right now.
Flies, you’re goin’ down.
Plan of Attack
1. Acquire one plastic, disposable bottle, emptied of its contents, such as a water bottle or (gasp!) a soda bottle. Any size will suffice, but probably, the bigger the better.
2. Cut the top of said bottle off. Like so:
3. Find the nastiest, smelliest bunch of food garbage in your house* — if you don’t have a garbage disposal, the scraps caught from the strainer in your sink are perfect. Extra ammo would be any kind of raw/rotting meat or fruit. If you REALLY wanna bring in the big guns — get a piece of livestock poo (seriously) — and throw it all in the bottle. Add some water in there.
[*Note: If you’d rather your bait not be that gross, some say that mixing in some sugar water and vinegar — or even just pouring a bit of honey or syrup at the bottom since they’ll try to eat it and get stuck — will be good enough. Maybe stick with that if your trap is within the walls of your home territory.]
4. Invert the top of the bottle and stuff it inside the bottom half.
5. Watch those stupid, worthless vermin fly over to your lethal trap with utmost curiosity. Observe as the enemy meanders toward the opening at the bottom.
"Mmm... is that rotting flesh-and-poop soup?! My fave!!"
6. BASK IN YOUR VICTORY as they DROWN in the DEATH SOUP, too stupid to remember how they got there in the first place and escape.
By the way, the corpses of our fallen foe make for great bait as well. Flies are cannibalistic. Sick.
Mission Accomplished
Or else, if that didn’t satisfy you enough, you could always try this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0E1KDqnS3U
(Wow. Please don’t actually do that.)
Have you ever used a homemade fly trap before? What’s your bait of choice? If you’re going to try this one out, come back and tell us how it worked for you!
Bahaha! That video is hysterical! And I love that he’s totally serious about it too.
LOL! The dude is a little nuts, I think!! When he lets out that big sigh at the beginning, I cannot stop laughing. Sooo into it.
So funny! Thanks – I love your post and that video is crazy – need to show that to my 13 year old son. A friend directed me to your post since I have an invasion of the ghastly flies in my house.
Good post.
Who ever says your nuts for being too serious must be “fly tolerant” eewwww. A damn sympathiser. Maybe we could use his festering brain as the bait.
I live in Thailand. Mosquitos are fairly easy to deal with but the bastard flies are terrible. I always have a spray to hand and get great satisfaction spraying the pesky dirty little horrors.
Hate them to death.
However that torch method is quite convenient for a nest of baby spider hatchlings. Just care for the flaming balls of web/egg sacs!!
I will be trying this come spring.
The post totally made me think of this scene from the movie High Strung:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iCPXho7Lnk
This is actually a better quality clip, but the pertinent part begins at the 2:12 marker.
This is actually a better quality clip, but the pertinent part begins at the 2:12 marker.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZGEXqt1VqQ
Add a Purple Martin house to your yard too, they catch bugs on the wing, and keep mosquitoes scarce too. Related to them are the cave swallows that make mud nests under your eaves- the same ones so many complain about “the mess” they make- and wash off their nests with a hose? Idiots are getting rid of the non harmful predators of vector carrying mosquitoes and flies. I was shown a wonderful way of eliminating that “mess” problem. And ironically, I saw it in a shopping mall that had stapled nets all over their eaves to keep out the swallows!!!! Ha!!!The swallows found a way in and the placement of their nests were right over the flower beds! It was perfect! So note where swallows prefer to nest on YOUR eaves, and try to replicate those conditions over your plants, or put some flowers in a pot under their nests, Then , when you water, you can wash those nutrients off the plants into the soil around the plants. Problem solved!
I had Swallows move into a tin shed one year (before the wind blew it away!) and there were a family of 5, I loved seeing them fly over the bushes every morning and evening, catching bugs on the wing. I didn’t have any mosquito or fly problems that year at all. I loved them. I haven’t had actual experience with purple Martins, but am erecting a Martin house (with Starling resistant doorways) to find out. They look very much like the cave swallows, only their tails are blunt. I have read they will only fly high and aren’t any good at mosquitoes or flies, somehow I doubt that, and am willing to do the experiment. Why would a bird who eats flying insects as their main meal look for them where they aren’t?
And yes Purple Martins are much more abundant than I knew. I saw some at a local nursing home where they put up a Martin house.